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Cougars (older women in relationships with younger men) may serve an important social function, and their increasing visibility is a signal of rapidly changing gender roles and expectations. Is she a real urban cougar with all the hype around urban cougars and their bait, it can be confusing to know what exactly defines a cougar it’s common knowledge that a cougar is an older woman who chooses younger partners, but what is the precise definition of a cougar. The cougar and the cub: 10 rules for dating a younger man while this is no surprise to many, dating or partnering with a younger man is an elixir for an older woman no matter the age difference (mine is almost 9 years), the energy that this man infuses to.